Blessed by A Dirty House

Today is house cleaning day. Everyday around here needs to be house cleaning day. It's the job that's never done, or in my case, never even close. Cleaning is not one of my gift. I don't enjoy it, and struggle to keep up with the daily chores around here. Today though, I decided to be blessed by my dirty house. I see the faces in the picture below and know I have blessed far beyond measure. Those faces cause the dirty house, but if that's the price to pay for having them, every mess is more than worth it.

After lunch, I gave the high chair a good scrubbing even though it will need it again after supper. It's a gross job since my Sweet Caroline is quite messy. Today I decided to be blessed that there is a sweet child in the chair throwing food and making messes. A dirty high chair is proof of blessings because of the child that uses it. Many people would love to have messes to clean from a little one. Thank you God for the dirty high chair. Beside that high chair is a pile of black beans from a quesidilla that Miss Abigail begged to have for lunch. More mess and more blessings. We have more than enough food to eat. We get to make choices about what we eat. We have fresh, nutritious food available. Never once have I worried that my children wouldn't have enough to eat. Greasy fingerprints cover that section of the table. Oh those little prints that are quickly growing into big prints. Those small hands spill and drop so much, but are connected to one of the sweetest hearts I have ever known.

For once I gave our bathroom a deep cleaning while reminding myself to be thankful for a dirty shower with clean, hot water. Thank you God for a toilet that needs to be cleaned because it means we have one. For my work, I had cleaning products, a dustbuster, and a steam mop to use. Together those made the jobs easy. Blessed to have them.

Charlie is working a super long shift today. He left before we got up, and he won't be home til after we are sleeping. Thank you, God for a hardworking husband who gives so much to take care of us and allow me to be at home with our girls. As I was down on my hands and knees scrubbing baseboards (See, I really did clean.) I was thanking God that I am here and can clean my house. Since I know what it's like to work while having small kids and to be at home, I treasure even more this time with my girls. The quiet time timer is about to go off. I have a little girl just waiting to do something fun with me. Help me, Father to never take that for granted and to not waste those opportunities to build memories and a stronger realtionship with my daughter.

Today, I choose to be blessed by this house. It's a blessing just to have a home that needs cleaning. So for a few minutes my house looks good. Tomorrow family is coming over to watch a football game. No promises that it will still be clean by then, but for right now, my house is clean, so I will sit back and soak in the blessings God has chosen to pour down on me.

The Problem of Pinterest

In looking through my old posts on blogger, I found this one about Pinterest written not long after I discovered the treasure that is Pinterest. SInce then, I have canged some opinions and not others. I still think that it has the power to breed discontentment. There are billion dollar houses, super skinny women, outfits with $200 sandals. Those things are not gonna be part of my life, ever. But I have also cooked several yummy recipes including some new favorites. The no bake energy bites, or balls as we call them are a hit and have become a staple snack in our house.

We have done several fun projects based on ideas seen on Pinterest. I am not a super creative Mom with a million ideas of ways to keep Abigail creative and happy. With Pinterest though, I have so many ideas at my fingertips. I love to do these fun things with her, I just needed help finding the ideas. So overall, Pinterest is good in my opinion. My danger now is just wasting too much time playing.

Last week I got crazy and signed up for Pinterest. Wowsers, I was hooked immediately. There were so many cool right things at my fingertips. I love having a way to save recipes and such that I find. There have been many times that I have lost recipes that I wanted to try because I forgot the link or didn't print. Now I can save them easily. Now the problem will be finding time to cook them all. Another great thing are the teaching ideas. I'm not in the classroom anymore, but I have a sponge like mind at home and I tutor. I have found ideas for Abigail and for my tutoring student through Pinterest friends. Those are the good things about this new pin board craze.

The problems though are time and contentment. In the short time that I have been signed up, I have spent way too much time looking at it, including putting the app on my phone. My down time is precious to me, and I need to be careful not to waste it. But just browsing around at fun things is good relaxation for me. The biggest problem I have felt so far is with my personal contentment and comparing myself to others. When I see people's crafts, I think I could never do that which gets me down on me. I'm not a crafty person, it's just not a gift that God gave me. When I see all the beautiful designs for houses, I think well if my house were bigger, I could do that. If we had more... more.. more. I am incredibly blessed. It's not good for me to spend my time thinking about more. I have everything I need plus much more. Looking at the possibilities of "stuff" has me wanting.

I'm not giving up Pinterest yet, I'm enjoying the benefits. I've actually made two recipes so far. The no bake energy bites are fantastic. My promise to myself though is to watch what I look at and what I want. If I let it make me discontent with my own blessed life, it's out. Happy Pinning.

Awareness

A friend brought to my attention that this is National Infertility Awareness Week. I had no idea there was such a thing. I am so glad she did though. She shared her story through her blog of their journey to their two beautiful little twins. It brought tears to my eyes as I read about her struggles, pain, and faith.  Infertility is a little talked bout problem. People don't like to share about this most intimate but painful issue. When I think about it, I can quickly call to mind several couples that are currently dealing with this. That's just with a moment of thinking. Blessedly, I have not had to struggle with this issue. Before Abigail though we had a miscarriage. Also another common but not often talked about occurence. In the short time between the miscarriage and Abigail, i hurt so badly feeling like both my body and I were failures. I couldn't take care of my child. Since then much healing has taken place as well as the births of two beautiful and healthy children. I only had to deal with what ifs for a couple months. Many people have to deal with it for years. My heart hurts as I know that friends are hurting right now wanting so badly to hold their own sweet babies.

My purpose in writing this is to ask you to be aware. There are so many people struggling. Be careful before you ask questions about when people are going to "finally start that family." They may have been trying for awhile. That question might cause more pain than you can know. Be sensitive in what you say. Most of the time you won't know what's really going on. After our miscarriage, people said, "oh you KNOW you will be good parents. You are going to have kids." No one can promise me that. God didn't make that promise to us. He promised us that He loves us and knows our hearts. He promised that he cares. Just think before you speak.

KNowing the struggles of others has helped me remember how blessed I am for my two little ladies. At times they drive me crazy, and I can't wait for bedtime. Most of the time though, they are true joy. I cannot imagine life without them. Hug your babies and say a prayer for those that are still wating for theirs.

100 Things

Either last year or the year before, I saw a challenge going around either Facebook or the blog world to get rid of 100 things. It could be throwing things away, giving them away, whatever you choice. The point was just to declutter a little. I wanted to do it but never got around it. This year I am determined to make it. So far I got rid of a shirt I never wear, several dried up nail polishes, and several pair of "silly" socks that I don't wear. I'm only counting that as three. So 3 down, 97 to go. We'll see what all I find that either is trash or could find a better home somewhere else.

Simple Prayer

While reading one of Abigail's childrens' Bibles the other day I ran across this short prayer.
Dear God,
Please help me remember that you're always there. Help me know that you'll always care. When I have to do things I think are hard, help me to keep trying, keep me going Lord. Amen

What a profound prayer found in a children's book. The day I read it, those were words I needed to hear in my heart of hearts. Life with two children has been challenging. I love my girls so much. Learning to take care of them together has been tough at times. Sleep doesn't happen as much as I would like here in this house. I have been tired. Caroline refuses to take a bottle. These are just a couple of my new adventures. I desperately needed to be reminded how much God cares. He's ALWAYS here and he AlWAYS cares. God wants to help me through my daily trials not just the "big" things. This little prayer was just the reminder I needed about how much my Father loves me. He cares about me and everything in my life. Thank you Lord for loving me.

Officially Official

Today makes it truly official. I am a stay-at-home mom. The wonderful teachers of Hall county got up today and went to school. For the first time in five years, I was not one of them. This is the first time in seven years, that I have not started the school year as a teacher, and the first time in 25 years that I have not started school at all. This feels a little strange.

I feel incredibly blessed to have this time to stay home with my girls. I want to appreciate every moment, even the ones where I want to pull my hair or run screaming for the hills. This job will be hard also. Abigail is much more demanding than any principal I have ever had. But she also makes me smile and laugh more too. She gives better hugs too. For two years, I was a working mom. Yes, I know every mom is a working mom, but working away from home and away from my girl was hard and it is totally different work. It hurt to drop her off even though I knew she was very happy and well taken care of with her Nana. So to the working moms out there, my hat is off to you. It's hard. You have my prayers and respect.

I want to use this time well. I have a huge responsibility to raise my children well and teach them. I want them to learn colors, letters, and animal noises, but most importantly, I want them to learn about the love of God. I want to use this time to teach them about a God who loves them even more than I do. During this season, I want to teach them to be servants and help others. Right now things are still a little unpredictable with a newborn, but I want to help others. I want to find ways to serve that our family can do together. God has blessed me with this opportunity, and I believe that comes with responsibilty to use the opportunity well.

My life has changed. Instead of meetings and bulletin boards today, it was Barney and blocks. I wouldn't change it for all the money in the world.

Caroline Katherine Nix

Here are a few shots of my girl. I've been trying to post these for awhile, but my computer has been acting up. I'll do a post with words soon. I just wanted to showcase my new beauty to the world. (I have no idea why this is underlined and blue.)

Waiting

Those that know me, know that patience is not my strongest virtue. I like things to happen when I am ready. Well I am ready for Miss Caroline to make her appearance. I am excited to meet my baby girl. Abigail was born two weeks early. Let me tell you, that spoiled me. For me pregnancy did not even last 38 weeks, so sitting here at just over 39 weeks feels like an eternity.

Everywhere I go, people are asking me when she's coming. I sure wish I knew. Several family members have been out of town this week, and my mom can't travel yet, so maybe the girl is holding on until she can have a big welcome party. Maybe she just wants to show from the very beginning that she is different from her older sister. Maybe she'll be born today.

I have no control over this situation. For those of that like to take charge, that's hard. This is one of the biggest events of my life, and I am just waiting. I have no idea when it will happen, not can I do anything to make it happen. For me there is no doubt though that Miss Caroline will be worth the wait.

We will start talking about an induction next week which is not really what we want, but we don't want to go too far over time either. Please pray that my sweet girl decides to make her appearance sooner rather than later and without being forced out. I hope my next post will have pictures of my beautiful new little girl.

My Mama

Last Friday morning I got a phone call that was totally unexpected from my mom. She had "the voice." My mom is one of the world's most optimistic and enthusiastic people, but this voice is well known to those who know her well. It is her something is wrong, but I'm trying not to let it show voice. It's pretty much a giveaway now though.

The news she had to share this time was that doctors had found a mass in her heart. I don't remember all that she said after that because I was still reeling from those words. I myself tried to put on my brave voice as I heard my mom tell me she was headed to the hospital and major surgery was coming very soon. My own heart was filled with fear and a strong desire to hug my mommy. Charlie came in to find me tearing up, so I filled him in with the news. He immediately tried to google the name I thought mom had told me, but I was completely wrong. He just held me for awhile too. Abigail of course had no understanding, but kept coming to me and making animal noises to make me smile since she could sense something was bothering Mommy.

At that moment I wanted to jump in the car and run to TN as fast as I could get there. Being that I am 37 weeks pregnant, that's not really a possiblity right now. Being away from my family is hard right now. I want to be there even if it's just sitting in a waiting room together. I feel so far away.

One thing I know though is that God is holding my family. He is everywhere, and He is keeping us all connected. His hand is evident already in his care for my mom. The fact that this tumor even found show that He is there. The doctors said that this isn't normally found this easily. So despite some scary news, we are praising God for finding this mass.

Tomorrow is surgery day. I ask that anyone who reads this prays for my mom. God is the ultimate healer and He will hold her. Mom, I love you , and wish that I were there to bring some sunshine. Caroline and I are going to be here praying for you all day.

Father's Day

Abigail was teaching him how to use the iPhone.
Nothing like a daddy's lap

Cheese!!!

This may be one of my favorite pictures ever. This is a common scene in our house, but I love what it shows.

I was very blessed to grow up with a great Father. He's also a great Dad. He has always given of himself to take care of our family. I remember many night growing up that he came home to eat with the family, but after we went to bed, he went back to work and stayed till all hours of the night. I'm not sure he ever slept. He worked hard to make sure that we have always had what we needed. he made sure to find ways to come to ball games, school programs, and other events that we were involved in. My dad is man of God who has been a good example to me of what a dad and husband should be.

It shouldn't be a big surprise that I picked a husband who shares some of my dad's qualities. Both are great dads, and love to play. They both find teasing me to be a great hobby. Both men can make me laugh when I need it. Growing up, I always felt safe with my dad. I knew that I needed to find a husband that provided same feeling, and I did. Both of these men have blessed my life so much.

Since Abigail was born, I have loved watching Charlie be a Daddy and my Dad be a grandfather. They both obviously love that little girl, and she is quite taken with them. The pictures above show these two being who they are and being the dads that god planned them to be. I thank my heavenly Father for putting these two men in my life to share and show the love He has for me.

Jesus Loves You

Sunday morning, Abigail woke up feeling extra sweet and snuggly. She was a joy. I was holding her, and she snuggled in to hug. I looked at Charlie over her head, and said I think someone loves me. Miss Abigail responded with Jesus wuds you. What better words could I hear coming out of my daughter's mouth.

As a parent, I am continually questioning myself. Are we doing the right things? Is she learning what we want to teach her? That one comment helped me know that something is sinking in to her little head. My prayer for her life is that she will continue to share that message everywhere she goes. I've always called her a joy spreader. I pray that she learns that our real joy is because "Jesus wuds us." May I also share that message everywhere I go.

Not Just Colleagues, Friends

Last Friday, my co-workers celebrated my birthday with me. They made me feel so special with thinking about things, they know I like and treating me with them. I had a Diet Coke waiting on my desk with Reese's Pieces, a muffin and fruit. I also had a new charm for my Pandora bracelet, but I will write about that in a minute. Lunch was also delicious with chicken from Chick fil a, complete with a fabulous banana pudding milkshake. If you haven't had one, stop what you are doing and run to get one now. They are DELISH. My room was also decorated. The began the birthday celebration with a bang!

As excited as I am to get to stay home with my girls next year, I am also sad to leave these ladies. We have so many personalities and differences, but they have been incredible blessings to me. They have taught me to be a better teacher. We have worried together about test scores. We have shared lessons plans, and ideas. We have reminded each other what needed to be accomplished, and we have shared in the joys and trials that our precisous middle schoolers bring.

These ladies have challenged me in other ways. They have strengthen my faith in our Father. They have led me to grow there. I know they have prayed for me. They have supported me so strongly since I had Abigail, and have had to learn to be teacher and mommy. In the short minutes in the hall between classes, they have encouraged me to go back in and try it one more time. Over my five years at South Hall, I've seen many changes. But as I leave in a few weeks, I will know that God put me here for a reason. I've learned from some amazing women who will forever be part of me. Someday I will have another teaching job. Where it will be is a mystery. I can only hope and pray that my future co workers will be like these.

My pandora charm was an apple. Nothing could have been more perfect, and the charm wouldn't have meant the same coming from anyone else. When I opened the box, I had to shut it quickly to avoid my own tears. It will be worn with pride, and smiled at often.

I leave behind memories of good years and bad. Lessons gone right and wrong. Meetings ending in tears, and meetings ending in laughter. I leave behind the left side of my brain. Ladies, I love you all. Thanks for being who you were and are to me. You will see me again as I show up out side the window and knock to be let in.

So Excited!!

Right now I am full of excitement. My life is so good and so blessed. Tomorrow I join the rest of the world when I get my new iphone. I have been tutoring and earning a little extra cash and this is my reward. My bright pink case is already ready and sits empty just waiting for its new friend. We have 4 more days of school until spring break. That is incredibly exciting. The kids need a break, the teachers need a break. A little time away will do us all good. During spring break, I am going to see my family in TN. I don't get to spend enough time with them, so everytime I do get to be there, it's wonderful. The part I am most excited about though, is going to NYC with Charlie. This is my early 30th birthday present. We are leaving Miss Abigail with her grandparents and going away BY OURSELVES!! Of course, I am going to miss my little girl very much. Three and a half days will be a long time to be away from her, but I am excited to have time Charlie without chasing a kid, or meals without feeding her, jsut time where we can hang out. We will tour around as much as my 25 week pregnant body can handle. When I get tired, we'll rest. Right now I am just filled with excitement and anticipation for things that are coming. Life is good.

The Patient

This morning Abigail got tubes put in her ears. She was a great little patient. The nurses complimented her several times. She came home from the hospital and took a long nap then got up as crazy as ever. She's quite tired tonight, but doing well. The smart girl even waited til she got ouf of the car to throw up. The pictures are all out of order, but here's a few from our morning.

Watching Elmo and snuggling with Daddy.

I'm all ready, let's get this started.

Barbies, Bridesmaids, Babies and Beyond

I have been totally blessed to have two amazing friends in my life for 20 plus years. I don't actually remember how it all started, but we've been friends since early elementary school. Our friendship has definently grown and changed throughout the years. We started out with Friday nights of TGIF and barbies, girl scout camping trips, Green Hill Softball, and so much else. Even our moms have been part of each others' lives. We've grown through changes in relationships, colleges, states. We've been in weddings. All through out this we have someone how remained friends.

Things are not the same as they were when we were younger. I live in a different state, and I'm only one with a kid, so far. We've had times where we were closer than others, and times where we go for months without talking. All through it, I know that these two girls, are true once in a lifetime kind of friends.

Saturday night I got the opportunity to sit and talk to them for a long time. We closed down Starbucks, then spent another couple hours in my car just talking. Girl talk like this is not something I get very often. These girls have known me through so many stages of my life, and yet have someone decided to remain my friends. I thank God for them so often.

So, Mer and Jenn, know that you are true blessings in my life. We may be far apart, but I will continually count you both as two of my lifelong best friends. Here's to another 20 plus years of friendship and Starbucks dates.

Newest Revelation

This morning I had a new revelation about what it will mean to be a stay at home mom. Next winter when it's cold and dark in the mornings, I won't have to go out get in the truck when it says 27 degrees. If it's that cold, I will just stay snuggled up in the warm house with my babies. Yeah, it's the little things in life that make it so good. No more freezing cold morning car rides trying to pump myself up for work. WOn't it be grand.

Random Pics

I have made a couple posts with no pictures, so here is one with just pictures. Enjoy, Mom and Dad.

Hello 2011

I know we are already 12 days into the new year, but I hadn't made my welcome to it post yet for a couple reasons. There was some secret information that is no longer secret that had to be shared before I could write what I really wanted to about the new year. It's going to be a big one.



In a few months, I will turn 30. That seems like a big number. I'm not worried about my age. I feel like I am in a good place to be turning 30. My life has gone well thus far, and I only see that continuing through the next 30 years.



A big change for this year will be another baby!! Charlie and I are expecting little Nixlet #2 sometime in Mid-July. Abigail made her arrival a couple weeks early, and I have already told this child that it's ok with me for it to come a couple weeks ahead of schedule too. We are excited and a bit overwhelmed. Life with two will be even more exciting and adventurous. Don't worry, all you expereinced people out there, I'm quite aware that there are going to be major challenges. I had no idea what I was doing when Abigail was born either. We've done pretty well so far. We'll figure it out again somehow.



One change that will help is that I am going to be staying at home. That's right, I'm not going back to full time teaching. I am going to stay home with my babies. i am very excited about this. Yes, once again, I know there will be challenges. Staying home full time will be a major change from my current lifestyle, but I look forward to it. It's going to mean some other changes since the school district won't pay me if I don't show up to work. But sacrifices are worth it to be with my kiddos. And I write this at a time when I haven't left the house in almost 3 days.



I'm not a big resolution maker. I don't like setting myself up for failure. that said, I am trying to improve myself. I'm trying to work harder in some areas, and not worry so much about others. God is good. He gave me a wonderful 2010, and I look forward to seeing what He has in store for 2011.

New Post

I had planned a grand post tonight after Abigail went to bed. Now I'm just not feeling it. Maybe because it's quiet. Maybe because I'm still wrestling with a bad cold after a week. Maybe it's the snow making me feel lazy. I'm just not feeling it though. There are a few things that I want to get down while my little is sleeping. Then I want to curl up with a book.

Let this little post serve to remind people out there that I am alive, I am blessed, and I never promised anything much with this blog. Night Night.

I was Reminded

Yesterday Abigail woke up in a MOOD. She was grumpy, fussy, and unpleasant. She yelled all the way to church. We kept going even though we weren't sure we would be staying once we got there. By the time we got to church, we ready to sell the sweet darling on EBAY. She was already wearing us out in just a short time. She was still wild during church adn had to go to the nursery earlier than usual. After lunch I put her straight down hoping a nap would cheer her up.

While she was down, I read a blog that I recently stumbled upon about a family who lost a daughter to ancephaly a couple weeks ago. Since the 20th week of pregnancy they had know their child would only live for a few minutes or hours. I have read this blog and cried and prayed for this family. Yesterday, I thought of their pain as I had been complaining about my child. Oh how blessed I am to have her here with me where she can whine, and cry and drive me crazy. I was reminded to be blessed and cherish every moment with my daughter, even the wild ones.