It's been awhile...

School is off and running. Life has for sure kicked itself into overdrive as I once again try to find the balance in life as working out of the house mommy. I miss Abigail like crazy. The first week I was very brave. This week has been a bit harder. She's growing, changing, and learning so much. I miss lots of it and hurts. My heart still fears being forgotten. I guess that's every mother's fear though working or not. My sweet Abigail is happy and healthy and that is what's important. PLus I get the wonderful moment in the afternoon where she first sees me and totally lights up. It's pretty much the highlight of everyday. She'll be one next week, but that will have to be another post.





School is going well. We are having a much smoother time with this year's bunch. I'm working hard and enjoying my job. This year one of my major goals has been to have a good attitude. That's probably really helping. I might rather be at hoem with my baby, but I'm not. Therefore I must bloom where I am planted. School. God asks us to do everything to his glory. That's what I am trying to do. It's not easy every moment. Yesterday after fighting computers all day, I could have happily run away. Instead I chose to go back today, and it was a good day. God is blessing me through my job. I am surrounded by wonderful people. Enjoying my colleagues helps so much. Already we have many good conversations about life beyond school that have encouraged and challenged me.





Life is busy. Down time is not really part of my days. Last night on our way to church I breathed a big sigh. Charlie looked at me strangely, so I told him that I was enjoying my break. The drive to church served as my time to be still and relax.





Another accomplishment from the past few weeks is my new workout plan. I am getting up 3 days every week and running before school. Yes, 3 days a week is a small goal, but it's about all I can promise myself these days. If I made my goal to big, I would fail and quit. So far, I have met my goal for 3 weeks in a row. Other walks have been sprinkled through out the week too.





God is blessing me. My life is so full of good things. Here's a pic that will forever make me smile and will someday make Abigail cringe.

Complaining

This morning as I was running and preparing for the third day of this school year, a verse popped into my head. "Do everything without arguing or complaining." from Philipians 2:14. Well it kinda hit me like a ton of bricks. It says everything. It doesn't tell me not to complain when doing things I enjoy doing and then if I don't want to do something complain away. It says in everything. OUCH!! God put that one in my head here at the beginning of a school year to remind me to be his. Verse 15 goes on to say that we should do this to become blameless and pure children His. I know I want that part. We don't get to pick and choose which parts of the Bible we like or follow. God has asked us to follow it all. So since this verse came to me, I figure I need to tattoo it on my forehead so that I'll be reminded constantly. Well I probably won't be quite that drastic, but working on my complaining is now on the goal list for this year. If you are near me, feel free to call me out. (in a loving Christ-like way)

Half full and Half Empty

Tomorrow I head back to school. One of the good things about being a teacher is that every August, I get the chance to start over. A new school year brings a boatload of freshness with it. To help get myself in the spirit every year, I get a package of cheap Bic pens, cheap Bic Mechanical pencils, and new planner. Oh the joy of a new planner. It's empty no plans or dates, but it just waits to be filled with events of another year. And yes, I do keep them from year to year. I never know when I'll need to look back and see what I did on Tuesday October 14.

I also get to start over with kids. Yes, teachers do develop reputations that preceede them as new students come into the classroom, but for the most part it's a clean slate. I get the chance to start totally fresh. A new year is a chance to be a new teacher. I get to learn from last year's mistakes and triumphs. Things that are repeating get done over and over, but failures can be left in last year's dust. A fresh start brings renewed energy and feeling that this year will be the year i get more right than wrong. This year I have another to chance to make a difference for someone. This year is my year. Each year is different. New kids bring both new joys and new challenges.

That leads me to the glass half empty portion of this post. Each year we have to start over. Totally. Sometimes it seems like just when we get the kids where they need to be, the year is over and we are moving on. (I never mind summer interrupting us though.) We have to learn a new set of kids. we have to once again explain what life is like in our classroom. These kids dont't know what it means to be a student in Mrs. Nix's Language Arts class. It can be hard to start over every year and not have the feeling why don't you guys know this. I just told you how I want you to do things. I already opened your locker 15 times. The bathroom is right there!

But as I head into this new year, I have a determined spirit. I will work hard at seeing the glass half full. I will enjoy this chance to be new. I will be what I need to be. Here goes....

Baby Steps

Yesterday was a big day at our house. Abigail took her first steps!! The three of us were playing in her room with mom on one side and dad on the other. She was able to take several steps between multiple times. What a fun moment for us. It was perfect. We were just hanging out, and she did it. I immediately hugged her and began to cry. God obviously heard my prayer for peace. He delivered me from one of my fears. I didn't miss this big moment. Charlie didn't miss this big moment. The three of us got to experience it together. I have thank God a hundred times since then that I was there. Still today, it makes me tear up to think about it. God is good. Look out world, Abigail is on the move.

Praying for Peace

This week marks the end of the wonderful summer vacation we teachers get to enjoy. It has been fabulous. THe time with my little girl has been so blessed. My heart is already beginning to hurt as I think about having to leave her to go back to school. All my mommy fears are returning. Right now she is quite the mommy's girl. Will she forget me when she is away from me so much? Will I still be the one she looks to for comfort? Will we build a strong relationship when I am away from her more than I am with her? These questions might sound stupid to some, but to a working mom they are true fears from the heart. Last year I was still nursing all the time, so I had the connection and knew that I was the only who could provide that for her. That part of our lives will be ending soon.

I have been praying for peace for my heart. God is greater than our hearts and he knows everything. He knows each fear listed, plus those that I won't even admit out loud. He knows that my heart hurts, and he hurts with me. God also knows that my child is in wonderful caring hands. She won't lack for anything. She will be showered with love and attention. My heart knows that, but ....God will take care of me. He will give me strength and endurance. He is the God of peace and all comfort. My God is bigger than all my troubles.

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1 Peter 4

"To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious prescence without fault adn with great joy, to the only god our savior be flory, majesty, power and authority through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore. Amen"
Jude
That verse found me shorty after our miscarriage. I knew that God was the only one keeping me from falling. It remains true throughout life.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in EVERYTHING by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." PHillipians 4

I am so thankful for every minute that I have had with my sweet daughter this summer. It has been such a blessing that I know not all working mothers get. My favorite thougth here is the word guard. I picture God placing a little peace soldier at the door of my heart to knock out the fear and hurt that come my way. God is guarding my heart.

"I sought the Lord and he answered me. He delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant, their faces are never covered with shame. This poor man called and the Lord heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles. Taste and see that Lord is good, blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. " Psalm 34

The Lord is good. My prayer is that he will be my refuge, He will be what I seek to be my strength. God is so good.

Oh Oh The Summer Nights

Summer nights are one of my favorite things. The peace and quiet of enjoying family and friends without pressure of rushing home to get ready for school and work. Even people who are not off for the summer like me seem to be more relaxed on those wonderful summer nights. The word linger comes to mind when thinking about these nights. They are a time to linger by the pool and just enjoy. Tonight was one of those perfect summer nights. We spent the afternoon at the pool. Watching my husband and daughter play in the pool makes my heart happy. I love watching them have fun together. My sweet Abigail enjoyed the water and giggled and laughed happily floating in her pool. The night was capped off with hamburgers on the grill and good conversations by the pool. No night at the pool is complete with out naked kids laughing and jumping into the water. School will be back soon, but until then, I hope to enjoy a couple more of these fabulous summer nights.

We Clean Up Real Good

For our anniversary my wonderful brother in law took some pictures for us all dressed up. We are both pretty casual people, so it was a good chance to get us both all dressed up. Here are a couple of the photos he took. For the rest go here http://dubois.smugmug.com/Portraits/Couples/Rachel-and-Charlie/12953678_yFSeC#936747271_GK4Aj